Seeking Caregiving Assistance: I need help, but my parents don’t want help.

Seeking Caregiving Assistance: I need help, but my parents don’t want help.

As we all know, caring for an aging loved one, especially a parent who has a great deal of medical and emotional needs, is not an easy task. Taking on the caregiving task of your aging parents comes with a great deal of responsibility; whether you are providing them with emotional or physical support or with routine tasks such as cleaning, bathing and grocery shopping. Doing all of this while taking care of yourself, working full time and/or raising a family can be completely overwhelming if not nearly impossible. As a result, it’s important to know that there are resources in place that can lighten your workload, even if you find it difficult to reach out for help.

There are numerous reasons why you may feel as though you don’t want to look into outside support. For example, you may feel a great deal of personal responsibility to care for your parents as they have dedicated so many years of their life caring for you. Alternatively, your parents may have insisted that they do not need any help at all. While this may not strictly be true, their reluctance is likely due to the fact that they do not want to be a burden to others. As a result, you may find that seeking any caregiving assistance is the cause of numerous family disagreements. 

With that in mind, here are some ways in which you can begin to seek outside help when it comes to caring for your parents (or other elderly relatives). 

  • Divide caregiving duties between other family members when possible. It probably doesn’t feel right when one adult child is doing all the caregiving, especially when other family members live nearby. Dividing caregiving duties between all family members is empowering for all involved and you will feel less pressure and be able to take better care of yourself. 
  • Talk to your parents. It can be hard to seek outside support for your parents when your parents are refusing the additional support. As such, you should sit down with them and have a heart-to-heart conversation about why you think additional help is necessary. Help them to understand that reaching out for help will not mean that they will lose their freedom or autonomy but in fact will increase it.  Finding the correct support and resources for your family will help everyone live their lives to the fullest.
  • Look into your options. As previously mentioned, there are various, amazing types  of caregiving assistance for you to consider. For example, I offer a Living Your Best Life Companionship Plan that brings quality of life, mental stimulation, engagement and socialization to the aging and peace of mind and support to their adult children and caregivers. I am  able to provide your loved ones with the support they need when they need it. My program lightens the pressure for yourself and the rest of your family.  You will have peace of mind knowing your loved ones are well cared for and respected for the amazing people that they are. It also means that you’ll be able to spend more quality time with your parents as opposed to showing up to do a plethora of tasks.   

About Adrian Allotey

You Are Not Alone Elder Care LLC
Adrian Allotey, is living a purposeful life as a result of responding to an universal calling; service to elders and their loved ones. As an eldercare specialist, aging companion and end of life doula, she has  made it her life’s mission to promote the elder years as a sacred, beautiful, honorable stage of life.   She brings quality of life, mental stimulation, engagement and socialization to the aging and peace of mind to their adult children and caregivers.  For More Information, check out